Secrets of a Long Life
After nearly six decades of life-experience,
armed with centuries of dedicated research
and a laundry list of anecdotal reminders and notions
acquired from the old- and middle-aged,
I am regretfully in position to share the secrets of a long life.
The repugnant issues relating to mortality, as I know them, are as follows:
mental confusion and disorder,
physical and mental atrophy,
emotional instability, leading to infantilism,
physical, mental, and emotional stress,
age-related disease and injury.
The good news is that one may inherit genes that promise a long life.
In addition, there are voluntary disciplines that are easily practiced
and few in number.
To the best of my knowledge, they are:
Drink water throughout the day (prevents cell desiccation and premature cell death).
Sleep more than enough, including a nap every day (promotes neurological order and stability).
Eat moderately and well (prevents metabolic disorder, arteriole blockage).
Enjoy vigorous exercise regularly, physical and mental (keeps aerobic and cognitive systems from atrophy; prevents unnecessary injuries).
Surround yourself with those you love; be involved with things about which you are passionate (prevents stress, promotes emotional stability).
Live each day. Resist the anticipation of tomorrow or nostalgia for yesterday (prevents stress, promotes emotional stability).
Meanwhile, I patiently await the science of implantation, gene therapy, and immortality.